Rain and Humour.

Boy have we had some wind and rain this month, (yes I am British so it is compulsory to talk about the weather). I know when we lived in the UK they used to talk about rainfall in inches, forget inches we can discuss the amount of rainfall in feet for January. here in Gozo. Being the outdoor type that I am it has been quite frustrating being confined to the house for days at a time, it has not been that cold though, day time temperature around 15 or 16 degrees. And when the rain does pass, the sun shines. None of those long grey cold winters we used to get in the UK, winter only really properly arrived here in the Maltese Islands at the start of January and it will soon be spring ;-)
I received an email yesterday from one of my geek friends, a fellow computer builder, with the title of 'What if people bought cars like computers' and in the absence of anything more intelligent to write I thought I would share some rainy day humour with you.

Helpline:

"Ford Helpline, how can I help you?"

Customer:

"Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks."

Helpline:

"Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"

Customer:

"How do I work it?"

Helpline:

"Do you know how to drive?"

Customer:

"Do I know how to what?"

Helpline:

"Do you know how to DRIVE?"

Customer:

"I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places in my car!"

Helpline:

"General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

Customer:

"Your cars suck!"

Helpline:

"What's wrong?"

Customer:

"It crashed, that's what went wrong!"

Helpline:

"What were you doing?"

Customer:

"I wanted to go faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then it crashed -- and now it won't even start up!"

Helpline:

"I'm sorry, sir, but it's your responsibility if you misuse the product."

Customer:

"Misuse it? I was just following this damned manual of yours. It said to make the car go to put the transmission in 'D' and press the accelerator pedal. That's exactly what I did -- now the damn thing's crashed."

Helpline:

"Did you read the entire operator's manual before operating the car sir?"

Customer:

"What? Of course I did! I told you I did EVERYTHING the manual said and it didn't work!"

Helpline:

"Didn't you attempt to slow down so you wouldn't crash?"

Customer:

"How do you do THAT?"

Helpline:

"You said you read the entire manual, sir. It's on page 14. The pedal next to the accelerator."

Customer:

"Well, I don't have all day to sit around and read this manual you know."

Helpline:

"Of course not. What do you expect us to do about it?"

Customer:

"I want you to send me one of the latest versions that goes fast and won't crash anymore!"

'Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation'. Kin Hubbard.